This study explains in detail the relationship pattern of a good husband and wife relationship to realize a sakinah mawadah and warohmah family in the nahdatul ulama community. This research is a field research. The researcher uses two techniques in gathering research data, namely: Interviews and documentation. The data analysis technique used in this study is a qualitative analysis using a flow model of analysis. After an in-depth study, a conclusion was found that to realize the sakinah mawadah warohmah family must be understand that the spirit or spirit of marriage is devotion to the creator who will be asked to answer in the hereafter. The impact of this understanding is that the Nahdiyyin community becomes more enthusiastic when carrying out their duties as a husband or as a wife. They now believe the better and more perfect in carrying out their duties to be husband or wife, the more the rewards will be obtained in the hereafter. Besides, they believe that if they do not get their rights after they carry out their duties as husband or wife, they are not hurt and become more patient. This happens, because now they understand that the reward or reward from marriage is not from a spouse, but the creator. Â Marriage for them only becomes a means of attaining divine blessing.
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